What's My Scene Again?

Scene, Emo, Hipster, Indie, NuWave, Kitchsy, Couture.....



i hate sticking to one. that's life's way of telling me to be free. and honestly that's the most relaxing thing in life. to finally be free.



for the past 5 or so years, I've been trying to figure out what my style is. I've worn strictly abercrombie & fitch, hollister, baby phat (gag), juicy couture, gah just thinking about it throws me off. i can't believe that use to be "me".

i use to be so in love with fashion, it was my first love. there was a fall out where i just didn't care. i think around the time where i got into "emo", all i thought about was proving to people how much i new about the scene and how "different" i was. but as time went on i stopped trying to prove to people, but i still dressed somewhat the same (actually, better). and then a couple months ago i was at Barnes & Noble and out of curiosity i picked up an issue of Nylon. Since then, I've fallen back in love with fashion. completely head over heels. but the problem with becoming more stylish in this scene is that everyone else is wearing jeans and a shirt, well skinny jeans and a band t-shirt. but the point is when i do "dress up" people stare at me like i shouldn't be there and that I'm only there for the lead singer or that I'm following some trend. and it kind of sucks to not be able to get dressed for shows like people go to for the nylon tour. so not fair.

I've even started using fashion to bond with my mom again. she never really understood my new style, since her style is pure glamour and designer labels. but she understands my ideas, and can see my passion. that's what i really want people to see. i want to prove to everyone that I'm still that stylish girl i use to be, that I'm still worth best dressed.


my main dream was to be a fashion designer, it's always been. but recently I've been questioning it. i can't even come up with 3 sketches that I'm actually happy with. that whole thing was depressing me for a while. until i seen a preview for s show documenting Rachael Zoe's job as a stylist. and that really made me think of being a stylist as an opportunity. i mean, before seeing the show i was compulsively on Polyvore. clicking "add to my items" for hours. i don't think I'd have the patience to be sewing garments for hours. i like the object of my interest to be right in front of me. idk, it's just me.



but the main thing I'd love to do in life is something where i can be myself. my personality, my style, my ideas.


hah, i don't know what on earth incorporates that.

there's some that i can twist into what i want, i can go for a Hayley Williams, Audrey Kitching, or even blog for Nylon.

so either join a band, become a hairdresser and skyrocket to e-fame, or go through years of interning.


idk. but whatever's meant for me will present it self sooner or later. that's how life works for me.




hopefully one day i can be some sort of Icon, i think that's possibly my goal in life.




regardless i looooove fashion. i love patterns, i love colors, i love textures, i love shapes, i love bows, i love glitter, i love skinny jeans, i love boots, i love tulip skirts, i love clothes, i love shoes, i love bags, i love leather, i love plaid, i love floral, i love checkered, i love diane von furstenburg, i love marc jacobs, i love chloe, i love new york, i love london, i love san francisco, i love fashion.